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Showing posts with label 47. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 47. Show all posts

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Andrea Chishti,School Teacher, 47, (England)

 I have been happily married for 18 years to a British-born Muslim of Pakistani origins. We have a son, 11, and a daughter, eight.

Fida and I met at university in 1991. My interest in Islam was a symbiosis of love and intellectual ideas. Fida wanted a Muslim family, and by 1992 my interest in Islam had developed significantly, so I chose to convert. It took us three more years to get married. During that time, we battled things out, met friends and families, agreed on how to live together.

I grew up in Germany, in a household where religion did not play a prominent role. My father was an atheist, but my mother and my school left me with a conviction that spirituality was important. When I converted, my father thought it was crazy, but he liked my husband; even so, he bought me a little flat so I "could always come back". My mother was shocked, horrified even. We had a typical Pakistani wedding with Fida's large extended family, and I moved to another country, so it was a lot for her to deal with. His family were not all happy either, because they'd have preferred someone from a Muslim background.

I don't feel I need to dress differently. I don't feel I need to wear hijab in my daily life, but I am very comfortable wearing it in public when performing religious duties. I don't wear it also out of consideration for my mother, because it was a huge issue for her.

I was a sensible teenager. I didn't drink. I am a teacher. So, I didn't drop out of an old life to find a new one. But Islam has strengthened my ethics and morals, and given a good foundation for our family life.

You sometimes feel like a "trophy" because you are white. If you go to a gathering, everyone wants to help and teach you and take you under their wing, up to the point where I found it suffocating. But, mostly, a lot of conversion problems are human problems, women's problems.

Kristiane Backer, TV presenter, 47, (England)

Kristiane Backer: 'It has been a challenge transforming my TV work in line with my new-found values.' Photograph: Felicity McCabe for the Guardian

I grew up in Germany in a Protestant but not terribly religious family, then in 1989 moved to London to present on MTV Europe. I interviewed everyone from Bob Geldof to David Bowie, worked hard and partied hard, but something was missing. At a moment of crisis, I was introduced to the cricketer Imran Khan. He gave me books on Islam and invited me to travel with him through Pakistan. Those trips opened a new dimension in my life, an awareness of spirituality. The Muslims I met touched me profoundly through their generosity, dignity and readiness to sacrifice for others. The more I read, the more Islam attracted me. I converted in 1995.

When the German media found out, a negative press campaign followed and within no time my contract was terminated. It was the end of my entertainment career. It has been a challenge transforming my TV work in line with my new-found values, but I am working on a Muslim culture and lifestyle show. I feel I have a bridging role to play between the Muslim heritage community and society at large.

Most Muslims marry young, often with the help of their families, but I converted at 30. When I was still single 10 years later, I decided to look online. There, I met and fell in love with a charming, Muslim-born TV producer from Morocco who lived in the US. We had a lot in common and married in 2006. But his interpretation of Islam became a way of controlling me: I was expected to give up my work, couldn't talk to men and even had to cut men out of old photographs. I should have stood up to him, because a lot of what he asked of me was not Islamic but cultural, but I wanted to make the marriage work. Insha Allah my future husband will be more trusting and focused on the inner values of Islam, rather than on outward restrictions.

I have no regrets. On the contrary: my life now has meaning and the void that I used to feel is filled with God, and that is priceless.